So...
I haven't wrote something in a long time and I was thinking I had delete this blog a long time ago but I guess its still here :-)
Whats going on in my life now you may ask... while my life isn't horrible but its not where I want it to be.
I have done a lot since 2009 that's for sure.
I was kicked out of my grandmas moved in with my high school friend and her family. Moved out of their house to NJ to live with my dad and Step mom. (That didn't work out because of a lot of reasons) Moved back in with my mom......... Moved out on my own and failed at life.... back with mom.
I have spent most of my days going through the motions
College full time ...Work part time... College part time... Work 2 part time... College less... Work 3 part time... No College... Work 2 part times... Hate LIFE... Work 1 part time like it but not making it in LIFE...
I need to find out what I really want and go for it! I just don't know what I am doing anymore. I feel alone most days and I hate my life every other day. When I am at work I love the kids and the school and being a part of someone else life it nice to be outside what is going on in mine but I am not happy.
I am not dating mostly because I don't want to and a little because the guys i like don't find me attractive I have pretty high standards... The guys I like also aren't what I really want... because it easier to like someone you like at will not like me back so I don't get hurt. Call me crazy but from my history with men aka my dad, brothers, and friends that they don't always mean to but they hurt you in some way or another. The worst kind is a broken heart... I have been emotional and physically hurt by men in my life and I don't to be hurt by anymore.... which is why I have shut down dating and letting them in.
