WOW...

So...

I haven't wrote something in a long time and I was thinking I had delete this blog a long time ago but I guess its still here :-)
Whats going on in my life now you may ask... while my life isn't horrible but its not where I want it to be.
I have done a lot since 2009 that's for sure.
I was kicked out of my grandmas moved in with my high school friend and her family. Moved out of their house to NJ to live with my dad and Step mom. (That didn't work out because of a lot of reasons) Moved back in with my mom......... Moved out on my own and failed at life.... back with mom.
I have spent most of my days going through the motions
College full time ...Work part time... College part time... Work 2 part time... College less... Work 3 part time... No College... Work 2 part times... Hate LIFE... Work 1 part time like it but not making it in LIFE...

I need to find out what I really want and go for it! I just don't know what I am doing anymore. I feel alone most days and I hate my life every other day. When I am at work I love the kids and the school and being a part of someone else life it nice to be outside what is going on in mine but I am not happy.

I am not dating mostly because I don't want to and a little because the guys i like don't find me attractive I have pretty high standards... The guys I like also aren't what I really want... because it easier to like someone you like at will not like me back so I don't get hurt. Call me crazy but from my history with men aka my dad, brothers, and friends that they don't always mean to but they hurt you in some way or another. The worst kind is a broken heart... I have been emotional and physically hurt by men in my life and I don't to be hurt by anymore.... which is why I have shut down dating and letting them in.

New Year = New Me

SO New Year is just a round the center... New Year mean make change to things u didn't about this year. So here is my top changes for 2010!!

1) JOB!!

2) Car insurance!!

3) Build a better relationship with Heavenly Father!!

4) Loss 60 lbs by August!!

I know that seem like it will be easy but I don't know the new year will hold for me...

Hopefully only GOOD THINGS!!!

My new favorite quote

This quote has me thinking...

Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. SO we are first love then we are fear. I remember never being scare to talk to people as long as my mom talk to them first, its the first thing a parent teaches their children is stranger danger. But that isn't without reasons right. Their is so many people out there that does some very bad things to many kids these days...

Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. What does that mean really. That in order to live in reality we most first love one another. Even those who have wronged or hurt us. Even those who choose not to love us. While that not easy.

Meaning lies in us. THE meaning of life lies in us... Love others and love yourself.

That is a lot to take in but it has great meaning and wisdom.

Facebook

As many of my friends and family know I am on facebook. If u don’t know what faceboook is then u have been under a rock for to long. I mean my 69 year old grandma is on facebook!! Really!!! I think I'm on facebook every chance I get. I really love to see what the people I don’t get to see ever often are doing. I also get to take dumb quiz and play fun games. I really like facebook! But what I come to see is some people don’t always use it for the good it is intend for. There are people commenting of others status message or postings and leaving some not so nice stuff. Or u will see people leaving postings of some very sad things like wanting to hurt them self or others. It's quite sad really. I hope that people realize what they are writing and stop before it goes too far. What I have been worried about this past week is when I am ever going to start saving money for my mission. I have a few people I have to pay back, a phone bill, and car insurance. I want to save money but I also want to be independent to. I know I will figure it out but I have been worried about this. I don't think that my first few checks will go anywhere but to bill but I will put the rest in savings. I think that's a good plan for now anyways. We will see once I start to get a check. Or even really get a job. ;-P Love always!!

Death comes in 3...

So this past week I gone to 3 visitation/ funerals . One was for a 21 year old girl. It made me think. What have I been doing with my life and where am i heading on my journey of life. I don't believe I have been living my life the way i want but i also know that some of what i have been doing is for those around me. I don't know if i know where i am heading but i do know where i want to go. I know that if i make some big changes in my life i can do what i want with my life and also know what the lord ask of me. I want to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I want to go to school to be an Pre-School teacher. I want to get married in the temple and have an eternal family. i know what i want but i also know i need to do some things to get what i want.

First to go a mission i need to be saving money. In order to save money i most have an income. To have an income i most get a job. I know these things but my problem is finding said job. i have put in a ton of applications. but i haven't got any calls back. I guess that if the Lords want me to get a job i will. I am going to make calls to the places i have put in the applications at and see if they are still hiring and if i can get an interview. I know that if i do my part the lord will do his. Right?

Second for me to go to school i need to sign up for classes at a community college and/or i need to see what classes i need. In order for me to do that i most call to talk to a counselor and/or set up an appointment but the question is should i wait till i come back from said mission to go to school or should i go ahead and take a few classes? I know i want to be a teacher but i don't want to be in school just yet. Is that a sign that i shouldn't be a teacher?

Last to get mpen lately. With move to Blue Springs. Meeting new family members. I am starting to build myself into the person I want to be and who I think I should be. i have had a lot happen in my life to help me on the way to these moments in my life now. I do not regret my life. I only regret some of the choices others have made to affect my life myself include. i do believe that those choices have made me a lot stronger and now braver then i have ever been before. I believe that those choices will help me in my marriage and with raising my children. I can't wait to get to those days.

I know that life is not easy and not everything happens the way you want them too. But I do think that if you are willing to leave things in the Lord hands and still do your part that the Lord will never give you something that you can't handle. So the one of the many things i am going to change is that. Putting my life more in the Lord's hands. I don't think i am stupid or dumb for doing this. I think that the Lord and His Son have never let me or those around me down. I have let them down. So in order for me to get what I want I must give what he ask of me. So I will read my scriptures everyday, I will pray morning and night, I will do my calling at church, I will fast once a month, I will pay tithing, and I will keep the commandments. I am making this commitment here i will feel a bigger need to do what is asked of me. I know that by doing this i will feel closer to my Heavenly Father and My Brother Jesus Christ. I hope by doing this I will be a better person and explain to those around me. Not that anyone should have to do what I am doing if they don't want too.arried and have a family. This one is not a quite as easy as the others. This one is not only about me. It's about someone I may or may not know yet. For this to happen i must know who i am and be ready when the time comes. I know that i almost know who i am and that i will be ready soon. But i also know that everything happens for a reason and that when u least expect it your world can be flipped upside down. I have had a lot of that hap

Love y'all!!

talking on the phone while driving...

The number of drivers talking on a cell phone at any given daylight moment continued to increase in 2005, according to the latest research by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

The number of cell phone uses behind the wheel is an estimated 1.5 million, with women and young people the most likely to be driving and talking.

About 10 percent of those on the road during the day are using cell phones, up from 8 percent last year, according to the data.

Connecticut, New York, New Jersey and the District of Columbia have passed laws against talking on hand-held cell phones while driving. The report is likely to intensify the debate over whether drivers should be limited in their use of cell phones on the nations highways.

As cell phones have become more common, safety advocates has pushed for laws to control them in automobiles, but the industry has resisted many of these controls. Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Nevada, New York, Oklahoma and Oregon have laws that prevent local governments from restricting cell phone use in vehicles.

Industry officials say it's unfair to single out cell phones as an automotive distraction. They say drivers are just as likely to be distracted by eating food, pushing buttons on the radio, applying make up or engaging in conversation with other passengers in the vehicle.

NHTSA recommends that motorists use cell phones while driving only during an emergency.

find this http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2005/nhtsa_cell_phones02.html

Foster Care and/or Adoption

So lately i have had a lot of people in my life had the Foster Care people come out to look at there house. I was wandering what they have to look for and expected. So here is the process.

Step 1 - Make an informed decision about fostering/adopting. Contact us at FACC! We are more than happy to help through the process.

Step 2 - Complete an application

Step 3 - Complete a criminal background and safety check

Step 4 - Schedule an initial home visit. Someone will check your home for adequate space and safety (i.e., do your smoke alarms work?) Don’t panic. No one will give you the white glove test!

Step 5 - Attend STARS/PRIDE* training. This is 9-12 week course designed to help you learn about the kids and the foster care system. Classes meet once a week.

Step 6 - Meet with a Family Development Specialist for 3-4 home visits during STARS/PRIDE to create your home study.

Step 7 - Complete medical, personal and employment references while you finish STARS/PRIDE.

Step 8 - Complete home study and put together an adoptive family life book

Step 9 - Become a licensed foster parent or approved adoptive parent

Step 10 - Welcome a child into your home!

* STARS is the Missouri foster adopt curriculum. PRIDE is the Illinois curriculum.

I also wonder whom is eligible, so this is MO says...
21 years old
Free of child abuse or criminal history
Married or Single
Employed or have adequate income
With or without birth children
Able to accommodate additional children in your home
Willing to attend a 9-12 week training program
Willing to participate in a home study
Willing to provide personal, employer and medical references
Complete a financial form

here is some Q&A

Q: What if my adopted child's birth parents change their minds? Can I lose a child I've come to love because the adoption falls apart?
A: No. In the state child welfare system, children do not become eligible for adoption until the rights of their birth parents to raise them have been permanently terminated by a judge.

Q: Aren't many of these abused or neglected children hardened, difficult and unruly?
A: Many of the children available for adoption through the state child welfare system have endured very serious trauma in their young lives. Nearly half of all foster children have special needs, meaning they are either developmentally delayed, physically disabled or suffer mental or emotional disabilities.

But these are often the children who have the greatest need for a loving, stable and nurturing home. That's why the adoption process focuses so heavily on building trust among prospective parents and the children they wish to adopt -- and in ensuring expectations are realistic for everyone involved.

Through the state, all adoptive parents receive training on the dynamics of abuse and neglect, and they have the opportunity to meet with other adoptive parents to learn what they may experience.

Q: Isn't it expensive to adopt children?
A: Though a private adoption can cost $20,000 or more, almost all of the expenses in a public adoption are borne by the state, including court and attorney fees.

Q: How can I afford to raise someone else's child?
A: Parents who adopt children from foster care are eligible for programs designed to ease the financial burden.

Healthcare coverage up to 21st b-day—policy link below:
http://www.dss.mo.gov/cd/info/memos/2007/cd0734.pdf

Missouri provides foster children a college tuition waiver available up to $5,000 And parents may receive financial assistance from the state, depending on the severity of their child's needs.

So if u r thinking of Fostering or Adopting please get all the facts and ask lots of questions.

PS. i got this info at http://www.foster-adopt.org/Default.aspx

I hope to adopted someday and i think that everyone one should think about it if the can afford it. Have a great day everyone. God Bless those whom are taking care of someone else children!